after what dmarchman said about this being a well know problem, i was so ticked i could have spit bullets, so I headed on over to macromedias site and after several pages of searching I ran accross this article/tutorial http://www.macromedia.com/devnet/mx/dreamw...h_users_08.html
Copy paste from the bottom of the page:
Note: PHP users with PHP 4.2 and higher will be disappointed to learn that instead of being redirected to the originally requested page after log-on, the application sends them to the home page. The reason for this is that the server behavior that is supposed to cause the redirection to the originally requested page relies on a configuration setting, register_globals, that must be on for redirection. Since PHP 4.2, the default setting for register_globals is off. You can go into your php.ini file and change it to on and the site will work as expected. However, it was turned off for a reason—this setting creates a potential security hole in PHP. Thus, before you decide to go into php.ini and change the setting, I recommend that you research the issue on the web.
in my case, this IS the issue, I am sure the ISp that houses my site won't concider changing this setting so I didn't change it on mine to verify (but probably should just for sake of knowing for sure).
I installed 5.0.4 on my system for production and went into the my php.ini and sure enough: register_globals = Off, s i think I can pretty much say that this IS the problem, I think I will focus on studying the tutorials here on the site to get mine working now.
goodluck!