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[SOLVED] redone


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As the others have said, this is 1000% improved over the previous versions. While there are still things that can be improved on, I definitely congratulate you on getting a decent looking site completed and up! Here is one personal critique that I'll give you, and please don't take it personally as I have to do the same thing: you need to get someone to proofread your grammar on your site. If you're going to be passing yourself off as a professional, your content needs to read professionally. For instance, on your main page, you have several grammatical errors, and there are some other changes you may want to consider besides grammar to help you come across more professionally:
My name is Joyel, welcome to my website. I am a web developer and I handle all aspects of web programming, coding, and design. I have a personal colleage, that handles all my graphic design, content writing and some other aspects. Please see my other pages on the left hand side of the page, for a full briefing on who I am, and what my whole business is about.

Consider this rewrite as my own lame attempt:
Welcome to the web development homepage of Joyel Puryear. Joyel is a web developer who handles all aspects of web programming, coding and design. Working with a personal colleague, he can also tackle graphic design, content writing and other aspects of web design. Please follow the navigation on the left for a full description of Joyel along with details of his business practices.

Maybe it's only me, but third person seems to have a more "professional" feel to it. Although, depending on your clientele, you may want to have a more "personal" feel. If this is the case, stick with the first person, but you still need to deal with the grammar and spelling issues. The paragraph I wrote above simply deals with these two things, but you can do [b]so[/b] much more to captivate your audience on that home page!
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I redid the footer, redid the navigation.  Went ahead and restructured the skills/services page, threw away anything that I was studying, I only left stuff I actually know.  All those languages that I just knew some basics on, I didn't feel were real experience, so I went ahead and took those off.  If someone asks, I will tell them I have been playing with it.

As for the grammer, I am about to do 2 things.
1. Run everything I have through a word doc spell checker (grammer, spelling), and then see from there. 

I write stories, fantasy, bio-modified), other not-real stories, so most of my creativity goes into those, I guess I need to work on my web-writing too.  THe way I end up working, is the first time, I write a block, or page of text, it's never real good.
Later when I am in a specific mood, I rewrite it, it's always better with each rewrite, but with stories, I am drawn away, and concentrate, so my writing abilities come out. They don't do very well in web writing, so I have him do my content, he just hasn't had itme, I will have him rewrite everything, he had done content writing for 7 years, so I try to leave any content writing for the web, up to him at the end.  So I will see if he can get on that, and get that to me, he is a friend, and we have a sliding scale relationship (payment) so that is even better.

I will probably go with red's advice on the logo, thank you for your opinion though.

jcombs_31 - I will be putting that link back as soon as my link pages goes up.

The only thing, is I can't let it interfere with clients, so I have to look at your site, I think you do web development, believe me, it doesn't mean I don't appreciate the help, I really do, in fact I will even send you money to cover it, after I am a little more financially set, clients are starting to pop up even more, because of my new advertising system.  So I will make sure I make it up to you, whether it's a link back, or monetary compensation, or sending you a couple of projects your way, when I have some extra, either way I will pay you back for the logo.

Also steelman, I am very happy with your help, it was very helpful, thanks again.

Mark - thanks for all the advice.

Thanks again everybody, from here, after I catch up some projects, I will go ahead and take care of some rewrites, I will have him rewrite it, and start adding in some graphics, any other advice that pops up thanks, thanks again for all the help.
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Now that I have proven I can follow advice.  Now that I have changed enough to be able tolisten to what other people have to say, I want personal criticism right now.
What should I do for my business, for a better image, my own site's, my clients, client relations, things I should do differently.  regular advice.
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what should you do?
dont let the old businessman come back. he didnt listen to advice or anything, didnt seem to do much, made wild claims that couldnt be backed up.

the new one seems to listen, apply (ie, show that he gives a toss about what others suggest), and has removed tonnes of crap which could only be described as waffle.

dont feel you need to tell the world your life story. its a fact that the most interesting people in this world are the ones that talk about you, not themselves, and just get on with things.
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Now with my current site, should I go ahead now, since people told me it could be alot better, what should I do from here, shoudl I go ahead, and remove the whole site, and rebuild it, let my graphic designer get me some more layouts, and redo it even better, with more learning.
Or should I keep the current, and expand upon it with programming, usability, graphics, and try to make it even better from here on out.
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[quote author=jcombs_31 link=topic=106884.msg479207#msg479207 date=1165343926]
I think you should try to make your own decisions on what to do next.  Set yourself some type of goal and continue with it. 

I agree. I think you need to take the advice in all the previous threads to heart and decide on a realistic goal. Don't go overkill, or you'll only frustrate yourself, but do set a goal and do your best to reach it. We'll be here to give you a helping hand along the way, but you've got to take the steps yourself ;)

Good luck!
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