fert

<?php $relatives = array('mother', 'father', 'sister', 'brother','uncle', 'auntie'); $verbs = array('dislikes', 'sits on', 'licks', 'sucks', 'looks like', 'does', 'discusses the pros and cons of Web 2.0', 'loves', 'caresses', 'slides onto', 'hates', 'kisses', 'learns PHP with', 'has an AJAX interface with'); $animals = array('dogs', 'cats', 'horses', 'birds', 'giraffes', 'elephants', 'hippos', 'hamsters', 'gerbils', 'monkeys'); $adjectives = array('abhorrent','abject','abnormal','abrasive','absorbed','absurd', 'abusive','acrid','agonizing','ambiguous','ancient','apathetic', 'average','bad','barbarous','bawdy','belligerent','berserk', 'bizarre','black','boorish','brash','brawny','burly', 'callous','cold','colossal','combative','crabby','craven', 'crazy','creepy','crooked','cynical','demonic','deranged', 'devilish','direful','dirty','disagreeable','draconian','drunk', 'dysfunctional','erratic','evasive','evil','filthy','flippant', 'gaudy','giant','gigantic','greedy','grotesque','grouchy', 'gruesome','grumpy','guiltless','hellish','horrible','huge', 'hulking','icky','immense','irate','jaded','jittery', 'macho','maddening','malicious','mammoth','maniacal','massive', 'mighty','mindless','moaning','moldy','murky','mysterious', 'nasty','nauseating','noxious','oafish','obscene','psychotic', 'rabid','ruthless','sassy','scary','smelly','snobbish', 'snotty','spooky','threatening','tightfisted','tough','towering', 'trashy','ugly','unbecoming','unsightly','vagabond','vengeful', 'venomous','vulgar','wicked','wrathful','wretched'); function insult($secondary_person) { global $relatives; global $verbs; global $animals; $r_size = sizeof($relatives) - 1; $v_size = sizeof($verbs) - 1; $a_size = sizeof($animals) - 1; $r_rand = rand(0, $r_size); $v_rand1 = rand(0, $v_size); $v_rand2 = rand(0, $v_size); $a_rand = rand(0, $a_size); $insult = "Your {$relatives[$r_rand]} {$verbs[$v_rand1]} $secondary_person and {$verbs[$v_rand1]} {$animals[$a_rand]}"; return $insult; } class Greeting { function Greeting() { echo "Hello World!"; } } interface Singleton { public static function getInstance(); } interface Actor { public function speak(); public function meet($person); public function eat($animalArr); } abstract class Intestant_Abstract { abstract public function input($input); abstract public function output(); } class Stomach extends Intestant_Abstract implements Singleton { private static $instance; public static function getInstance() { if (!isset(self::$instance)) { self::$instance = new self; } return self::$instance; } private function __construct(){ } public $kilosOfFood; public function input($input){ $this->kilosOfFood += strlen($input); echo 'Franky liky to eats '.$input.'..<br />'; if($this->kilosOfFood > (strlen(implode('',$GLOBALS['animals']))/1.5)){ $this->output(); } } public function output(){ echo '<br />Bhaarf..<br />'; } } class Guts implements ArrayAccess, Singleton { private static $instance; public static function getInstance() { if (!isset(self::$instance)) { self::$instance = new self; } return self::$instance; } private function __construct(){ } private $intestants; public function add($name){ $this->intestants[$name] = call_user_func(array($name, 'getInstance')); } public function remove($key) { unset($this->intestants[$key]); } public function offsetExists($offset) { return isset($this->intestants[$offset]); } public function offsetGet($offset) { return $this->intestants[$offset]; } public function offsetSet($name, $value) { $this->add($name); } public function offsetUnset($offset) { unset($this->intestants[$offset]); } } class Franky implements Actor { private $person; public function meet($person){ $this->person = $person; } function eat($animals){ shuffle($animals); $guts = Guts::getInstance(); $guts->add('Stomach'); $guts['Stomach']->input(next($animals)); } public function speak($insult_them = false){ if($this->person == null){ $greet = new Greeting(); echo '<br />'; } else { echo 'Hello '.$this->person.'!<br />'; if ($insult_them) { echo insult($this->person) . '<br />'; } } } } function say($lang1,$lang2) { echo $lang1." rocks and ".$lang2." sucks"; } if (isset($_POST['relativeName'])) { $relativeName = $_POST['relativeName']; $relativeType = $_POST['relativeType']; $h = new Franky; $h->speak(); $h->meet($relativeName); $h->speak(true); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $h->eat($animals); $monstername = $adjectives[array_rand($adjectives)]; echo "<br/>Franky wants to marry your $relativeType.<br/>"; echo "$relativeName will join the monster family and<br/>"; echo "$relativeName's monster name will be $relativeName the $monstername.<br/>"; } else { $person = $relatives[array_rand($relatives)]; echo <<<FORMINT What's your $person's name?<br/> <form action = '{$_SERVER['PHP_SELF']}' method = 'post'> <input type = 'text' name = 'relativeName' size = '10'> <input type = 'hidden' name = 'relativeType' value = '$person'> <input type = 'submit' value = 'submit'> </form> FORMINT; } if(isset($_GET[lang1]) { say($_GET[lang1],$_GET[lang2]); } else { echo "<form action=".$_SERVER[php_SELF]." method=get>Language 1:<input type=\"text\" name=\"lang1\"><p>Language 2:<input type=\"text\" name=\"lang2\"></p></form>"; } ?>