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fert

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Posts posted by fert


  1. <?php
    $relatives = array('mother', 'father', 'sister', 'brother','uncle', 'auntie');
    $verbs = array('dislikes', 'sits on', 'licks', 'sucks', 'looks like', 'does', 'discusses the pros and cons of Web 2.0', 'loves', 'caresses', 'slides onto', 'hates', 'kisses', 'learns PHP with', 'has an AJAX interface with');
    $animals = array('dogs', 'cats', 'horses', 'birds', 'giraffes', 'elephants', 'hippos', 'hamsters', 'gerbils', 'monkeys');
    $adjectives = array('abhorrent','abject','abnormal','abrasive','absorbed','absurd',
    'abusive','acrid','agonizing','ambiguous','ancient','apathetic',
    'average','bad','barbarous','bawdy','belligerent','berserk',
    'bizarre','black','boorish','brash','brawny','burly',
    'callous','cold','colossal','combative','crabby','craven',
    'crazy','creepy','crooked','cynical','demonic','deranged',
    'devilish','direful','dirty','disagreeable','draconian','drunk',
    'dysfunctional','erratic','evasive','evil','filthy','flippant',
    'gaudy','giant','gigantic','greedy','grotesque','grouchy',
    'gruesome','grumpy','guiltless','hellish','horrible','huge',
    'hulking','icky','immense','irate','jaded','jittery',
    'macho','maddening','malicious','mammoth','maniacal','massive',
    'mighty','mindless','moaning','moldy','murky','mysterious',
    'nasty','nauseating','noxious','oafish','obscene','psychotic',
    'rabid','ruthless','sassy','scary','smelly','snobbish',
    'snotty','spooky','threatening','tightfisted','tough','towering',
    'trashy','ugly','unbecoming','unsightly','vagabond','vengeful',
    'venomous','vulgar','wicked','wrathful','wretched');
    
    function insult($secondary_person)
    {
       global $relatives;
       global $verbs;
       global $animals;
    
       $r_size = sizeof($relatives) - 1;
       $v_size = sizeof($verbs) - 1;
       $a_size = sizeof($animals) - 1;
    
       $r_rand = rand(0, $r_size);
       $v_rand1 = rand(0, $v_size);
       $v_rand2 = rand(0, $v_size);
       $a_rand = rand(0, $a_size);
       $insult = "Your {$relatives[$r_rand]} {$verbs[$v_rand1]} $secondary_person and {$verbs[$v_rand1]} {$animals[$a_rand]}";
       
       return $insult;
    }
    class Greeting
    {
       function Greeting()
       {
          echo "Hello World!";
       }
    }
    interface Singleton
    {
    public static function getInstance();
    }
    interface Actor
    {
    public function speak();	
    public function meet($person);
    public function eat($animalArr);
    }
    abstract class Intestant_Abstract
    {
    abstract public function input($input);	
    abstract public function output();
    }
    class Stomach extends Intestant_Abstract implements Singleton
    {
    private static $instance;
    
    public static function getInstance() {
       if (!isset(self::$instance)) {
           self::$instance = new self;
       }
       return self::$instance;
    }
    private function __construct(){	
    }
    public $kilosOfFood;
    public function input($input){
    	$this->kilosOfFood += strlen($input);
    	echo 'Franky liky to eats '.$input.'..<br />';
    	if($this->kilosOfFood > (strlen(implode('',$GLOBALS['animals']))/1.5)){
    		$this->output();
    	}
    }
    public function output(){
    	echo '<br />Bhaarf..<br />';
    }
    }
    class Guts implements ArrayAccess, Singleton
    {
    private static $instance;
    
    public static function getInstance() {
       if (!isset(self::$instance)) {
           self::$instance = new self;
       }
       return self::$instance;
    }
    private function __construct(){
    }
    private $intestants;
    
    public function add($name){
    	$this->intestants[$name] = call_user_func(array($name, 'getInstance'));
    }
    public function remove($key) {
    	unset($this->intestants[$key]);
    }
    public function offsetExists($offset) {
    	return isset($this->intestants[$offset]);
    }
    public function offsetGet($offset) {
    	return $this->intestants[$offset];
    }
    public function offsetSet($name, $value) {
    	$this->add($name);
    }
    public function offsetUnset($offset) {
    	unset($this->intestants[$offset]);
    }	
    }
    class Franky implements Actor
    {	
    
    private $person;
    
    public function meet($person){
    	$this->person = $person;
    }
    function eat($animals){
    	shuffle($animals);
    	$guts = Guts::getInstance();
    	$guts->add('Stomach');
    	$guts['Stomach']->input(next($animals));
    }
    public function speak($insult_them = false){
    	if($this->person == null){
    		$greet = new Greeting();
    		echo '<br />';
    	}
    		else {
    		echo 'Hello '.$this->person.'!<br />';
                     if ($insult_them)
                     {
                        echo insult($this->person) . '<br />';
    	      }
               }
    }
    }
    
    function say($lang1,$lang2)
    {
    echo $lang1." rocks and ".$lang2." sucks";
    }
    
    if (isset($_POST['relativeName'])) {
       $relativeName = $_POST['relativeName'];
       $relativeType = $_POST['relativeType'];
       $h = new Franky;
       $h->speak();
       $h->meet($relativeName);
       $h->speak(true);
       $h->eat($animals);
       $h->eat($animals);
          $h->eat($animals);
             $h->eat($animals);
                $h->eat($animals);
                   $h->eat($animals);
                      $h->eat($animals);
                         $h->eat($animals);
    
    $monstername = $adjectives[array_rand($adjectives)];
    echo "<br/>Franky wants to marry your $relativeType.<br/>";
    echo "$relativeName will join the monster family and<br/>";
    echo "$relativeName's monster name will be $relativeName the $monstername.<br/>";
    } else {
    $person = $relatives[array_rand($relatives)];
    echo <<<FORMINT
    What's your $person's name?<br/>
    <form action = '{$_SERVER['PHP_SELF']}' method = 'post'>
    <input type = 'text' name = 'relativeName' size = '10'>
    <input type = 'hidden' name = 'relativeType' value = '$person'>
    <input type = 'submit' value = 'submit'>
    </form>
    FORMINT;
    }
    
    if(isset($_GET[lang1])
    {
    say($_GET[lang1],$_GET[lang2]);
    }
    else
    {
    echo "<form action=".$_SERVER[php_SELF]." method=get>Language 1:<input type=\"text\" name=\"lang1\"><p>Language 2:<input type=\"text\" name=\"lang2\"></p></form>";
    }
    ?>
    

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