Silvar Posted December 31, 2012 Share Posted December 31, 2012 Greetings Everyone. My name is Silvar and I'm a 23 years old male from Denmark. I don't have a job due to suffering from ADHD, OCD, PTSD and Borderline (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder). My life is quite hard sometimes as I change personality very often. One day when I wake up, I feel like being alone, sitting all by myself programming php, html, css, making apps for Android or just hyperfocusing on a single subject and filtering all other activities out, being totally antisocial. When I get into this mood, I'm very good at teaching myself new things. At an age of 12, I was programming CMS systems for companies and got a lot of money that I used for buying Warhammer gear and Lord of the Rings / Magic The Gathering cards (Good old times btw.). When I turn into this mood, it's because I can't handle the stuff that the world offers me. I got anxiety, I get panic anxiety when I'm at crowded areas, so I can't go to the city being drunk and having fun like my friends do, cause I can't handle it. But anyway, other days I can wake up and feel totally normal being social and doing everything I need to. I've always been a bit strange. I easiely get overexcited and turn into situations where I talk the ears of people, where I can turn into being antisocial 5 minutes afterwards. I also get angry very easiely. Went to several anger management courses without luck. My disorders also gave me quite a bad time in my mid teenage years. I've been to jail two times and also at the jail for mentally ill people where i got fixed to a bed with leather straps on my wrists, upper arms, ankles and around the stomach. Horrible experience that made me threaten the hospital staff because I was denied to use the toilet. They told me they could take off my pants and hold a flask while I was lying down and urinate in it, and if I had to poo, I could do it in my pants, and then they would change my clothes and clean me. What a fucking crazy system. Anyway, I've quit the crimes and I'm not going to the city being violent anymore, cause I stopped drinking alcohol, which apparently made me even more mad than I used to be when triggered. Now I'm usually just minding my own business. I like programming, I like editing/shooting pictures. Got my lovely Canon EOS 60D DSLR camera. I've been working with C+, PHP, A little ASP (Damn it sucks balls compared to PHP), CSS, HTML, XHTML. I hope you'll welcome me at this forum. I might need help sometimes, but I'm also able to share my knowledge with programming. Kind Regards, - Silvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rupesh Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Nice one! you are struggling a lot into your life! but still trying harder! thts gr88888888888 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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