Breaking a promise

[Stefany93]

So when my boyfriend started searching for a roommate, I made him promise he would NOT get a female roommate. He looked me in the eyes and said  "I promise"

 

Well, today he told he had to find a female roommate, or he will get evicted from the flat he is renting. Because he has been searching for a roommate for 2 weeks without luck and he has to get a female one. I told him to find a cheaper place, he told me his one is the cheapest in the whole city, even tho it is a two bedroom flat and then he told me he has to pay 1500$ deposit for a new place, so he told me getting a female roommate is his only choice unless he becomes homeless. 

 

Now, he promised he wouldn't do that, and he broke his promise. Lately he became acting weird, like talking to me very little and HUNGIN UP the phone when I call him. 

 

 

So what do you guys think? My father told me you should dump the person who breaks his promise. 

 

When we met, I told him I have very strict and old-fashioned morals and getting a female roommate is a break for them. He said he was the same way, so it's not like I didn't warn him.

Edited January 1, 2014 by Stefany93

[ignace]

Well, this is not a relationship counsel but a programming forum.

 

But I think you are being unreasonable to let him make such promises. A relationship is about trust, if you don't trust your boyfriend with another girl around him (which happens when he is with friends, at work, ..) then you should end the relationship.

[ignace]

In your signature it say's:

 

Never take counsel of your fears!

And you do the opposite. You counsel your fears for instructions.

[.josh]

I'm confused, need more details. Why exactly must he have a female roommate? Is it because there's a certain female willing to be his roommate, and he can't find a guy to roommate with, or is there some kind of actual law/policy involved? Did he have a roommate who left? Did he lose his job or rent go up and can't afford it anymore?

 

I guess I'm unclear as to why he would actually get evicted if he does not get a female roommate. That seems kind of shady to me.. there's no laws like that in America (though there is a law about non-married opposite sexes sharing the same bedroom, but if anything that would work for the opposite of his claims. Are you in America?). Also, it seems to me that if there really was some kind of law/policy involved, he wouldn't have promised you that in the first place.

 

In my experience, my money is on his eyes being on another girl. Or trying to ditch you. Or some variation. You know the saying, "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck.."

 

But I'm just some random stranger on the internet, so take that for what it's worth.

[.josh]

Well, this is not a relationship counsel but a programming forum.

True, but that doesn't mean we aren't human and can't put in our 2 cents based on our own experiences. As long as she understands that we aren't licensed professionals in that sort of thing - though ultimately it's her decision on what to do about it, regardless of who's telling her.

 

But I think you are being unreasonable to let him make such promises.

The promise may or may not have been unreasonable, but if he promised it, that's on him. Personally, I do not think it's an unreasonable thing to ask of someone to not live with people who they may have or grow to have attraction for. IMO. Even if they are trustworthy, why tempt fate? There's a reason why recovering alcoholics aren't supposed to go hang out at bars. I've been married for 14 years so far. The wife claims it's okay to go to pr0n sites and titty bars if I want. No way in hell would I. It's really easy to say you will or won't do something. Quite different to actually do or don't when put in a given situation. You shouldn't put yourself in situations where you can be tempted. It's like playing with fire..

 

A relationship is about trust, if you don't trust your boyfriend with another girl around him (which happens when he is with friends, at work, ..) then you should end the relationship.

I will agree that you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you don't trust, but there is a big difference between being around friends and coworkers vs. living with them.

[paddy_fields]

" You know the saying, "If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck.."

 

 

... then you should probably put it back in the oven?