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Need help from a good php developer

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I need functions like these:

Which will allow me to continue using the "e modifier" and get also rid of the "undefined constant" warnings when using php 7.
(simply want to override the php standard functions with custom functions so that they behave like in php 5)
Maybe further functions needed, dont know yet.

Yes of course i could upgrade the codebase to php 7 but that would also break compatibility with about 100 plugins that i am using
and multiple installations would need to be upgraded. I just dont want to do this right now but would like to upgrade from php 5.2 to 7 anyway.

Unfortunately, despite i can do much myself, this is to advanced/complex for me to realize.
So i would need someone to write those functions for me.

If needed i would be willing to pay.
But please understand i cant pay you 100$/hour as i am not a giant company or anything like that.
If someone would be willing to help me out for free, that would be very nice!

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