Feedback

[The Little Guy]

Could I get some feedback from these files:

 

http://phpsnips.com/docs

 

Thanks!

[.josh]

http://www.phpfreaks.com/forums/index.php/topic,218335.0.html

 

There you go.

[akitchin]

in a word: unprofessional.  don't quit your day job to become a writer.

 

constructive feedback might be to take a writing course, which includes a technical portion.  technical writing takes a great deal of practice and a firm understanding of grammar.

[The Little Guy]

in a word: unprofessional.  don't quit your day job to become a writer.

 

constructive feedback might be to take a writing course, which includes a technical portion.  technical writing takes a great deal of practice and a firm understanding of grammar.

 

I'm not witting a book... and I am not going to publish this... it is not meant to be professional.

[trq]

and I am not going to publish this

 

You already have.

[The Little Guy]

and I am not going to publish this

 

You already have.

 

I think you know what I mean.

[AndyB]

I'm not witting a book...

??

 

and I am not going to publish this...

Good decision.

 

it is not meant to be professional.

Objective achieved.

 

Given your statements, why did you ask for feedback in the first place?

 

 

[corbin]

I normally wouldn't be this critical, but uh... you asked us to look at it ;p.

 

 

The grammar is spotty.  No offense, but if you're going to write something, write properly.

 

 

Introduction

I would just like to say that right off of the bat, we will not get into the history or

the background of PHP; we will merely just describe how to use PHP, syntax, and some

other minor things. merely just doesn't make sense.  use PHP, syntax and so on....  The syntax is part of PHP, so you wouldn't say were going to learn math, multiplication, and some other minor things. If you would like to learn the history of PHP, than this

documentation is NOT for you, to learn the history of PHP, you should look at

http://php.net/history. Chances are, no one cares if you're not discussing the history of PHP.

By the end of these docs, you should be able to have a basic understanding of

PHP; you should be able to use a MySQL database, create dynamic content, and other

common tasks. "you should be able to have a basic understanding" that doesn't make sense....  You

re saying you're giving them the ability to understand PHP? We will provide text examples for you to be able to copy and paste into

your text editor, save and run the program. Copy/paste is the most useless thing in the world.

What to expect…

Here is how we will try and structure our chapters: Uh....  Won't the reader see how the chapters will be structured.

• First we will give a description of what you will expect to read

• Second we will descript the content descript isn't a word

• Examples will be given

• Chapter overview

• Exercises related to the chapter

Now that you see how a basic chapter will be laid out, I can tell you that we

would like to keep the chapters at a 5th grade level for those who like very easy to

understand instructions, or for those who are actually in 5th grade we hope you

enjoy reading our instructions, guides and tutorials. Uh...  That's insulting!

We do want to warn you that there are more than one way to do something Stop switching between we and I.  Also, "there are more than one way" that simplifies to there are one way, so, it should either be there are more than one ways, or there is more than one way, so

maybe our way isn’t the best way to do what we are teaching, and if you have some Acknowledge it when it happens, not before it happens

PHP background, you may see that in our codes, or even another programming

background you may see some code which could be build built differently. This doesn’t

mean that our code is wrong, or your code is wrong, it just means that there is more

than one way to hit two birds with one stone doesn't make sense.

Well, since we are not going to go into the history of PHP, than then you may be

wondering why our introduction is so short, and the reason for that is most books go

into the history of a programming language, and a lot of other useless information

that you don’t need to know just to learn a language.

 

 

 

I can go into chapter 1, but I don't feel like continuing this.

 

 

I feel kind of mean now....  Hrmm, over kill?  Oh well, that took a lot of effort.

[The Little Guy]

Thanks corbin!, that is exactly what I wanted, I have made some changes with your feedback.

 

I didn't remove some of your suggestions, because I just want to inform the reader about some of the stuff, and it makes the intro longer.

 

Any other feedback would be nice. The new changes are now up.

[Daniel0]

I normally wouldn't be this critical, but uh... you asked us to look at it ;p.

 

 

The grammar is spotty.  No offense, but if you're going to write something, write properly.

 

*snip*

 

I can go into chapter 1, but I don't feel like continuing this.

 

 

I feel kind of mean now....  Hrmm, over kill?  Oh well, that took a lot of effort.

 

Overkill is in one word. Muphry's law

[waynew]

You guys are being a little bit harsh on this one. I read a little bit (what some of you guys pasted) and although the grammar isn't that of a English teachers; I can still understand what he's saying.

[Daniel0]

[...] and I am not going to publish this [...]

 

Maybe that's your problem? It's pretty difficult to write when you haven't got a target audience... For instance, everything we write in my Danish class is targeted to "the generally educated and culturally interested reader".

[corbin]

I normally wouldn't be this critical, but uh... you asked us to look at it ;p.

 

 

The grammar is spotty.  No offense, but if you're going to write something, write properly.

 

*snip*

 

I can go into chapter 1, but I don't feel like continuing this.

 

 

I feel kind of mean now....  Hrmm, over kill?  Oh well, that took a lot of effort.

 

Overkill is in one word. Muphry's law

 

 

Bah!

[akitchin]

i don't know why you would want a document to be longer for the sake of being longer (which you mentioned with regards to your intro).  people don't want to read more than they have to in order to absorb the material.  quality over quantity is an important principle when writing instructive texts.

[corbin]

Chapter 1:

 

Installation(s)

 

First off, before you can begin to run PHP on your computer, you need to set up a

web server. How do you do that? It is as easy as pie, you need to download apache Apache and

PHP, I would recommend downloading “Apache Friends' xampp” this download will

automatically set everything up for you, Comma splice all you need to do is download and install.

xampp also comes with a small control panel, with which you can start/stop your: Apache,

PHP, MySQL, FileZilla, and Mercury Worded weirdly.  I wouldn't say you can start your Microsoft Word [random example], would I?. Huh?

 

Don’t know what each of these are? Well let

me explain:

 

•

Apache – processes http HTTP requests sent via web browserWhy do tehy have to be sent from a web browser?.

o Example: http://phpsnips.com This example could confuse some beginners, and it looks like a shameless site plug.

•

PHP – A program that takes code and turns it into HTML. Horrible explanation of PHP.  If you're writing a tutorial about PHP, write a better thing

 

about what it can do.  Also, that would be like me saying my car can go 20 miles per hour.  Yeah, it can go that fast, but it can also go much faster.

 

•

MySQL – A database management system to store information to be accessed. to be accessed sounds weird -- what else would you do with stored data? 

 

Hide it away forever?

•

FileZilla – A FTP server to allow for FTP uploads and downloads. A FTP could be An FTP, and it would sound more natural.  Also, I consider it bad

 

to promote software in educational writings.

•

Mercury – A Mail server to process incoming and outgoing web mail. Why does it have to be webmail?  Stop setting non existent limitations on

 

software!

We will be working with only the first three applications, but one of those

applications, you will more than likely not know that we are using, but we are. What???  Reword this.

 

Download: http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp.html

 

Copy and paste the above link into your web browser, from there, select your

operating system. Follow the download steps according to your operating system

selection, for Windows operating systems; it is the first link under the “Download”

section. Your grammar is all out of whack right here.... Download the file, and run the exe file it would sound better

 

instead of renaming the noun. You can leave everything as the default

selection. I would either say "everything on its default selection" or "everything on its default setting"

 

This next step is optional, Comma splice again.  You aren't supposed to join two independent clauses with just a comma.  You need a conjunction

 

like and or but, or you need to use a period (or a semi-colon is OK if the sentences are directly related). you will need something to write and save

 

documents.

Do NOT use Microsoft Word, or any other text formatting tool. If you do decide to use

these you will have a very difficult time writing PHP, and you may want to pull your hair

out, or even roast hot dogs over your computer. Don’t do that to yourself. You could explain that the files need to be plain text, so it doesn't

 

just sound like you don't like word.

 

I would like to recommend that you download an editor, one that you feel

comfortable using. I for one will be using Notepad++ which you can find here:

http://notepad-plus.sourceforge.net/uk/download.php

 

Others of which you could possibly use:

 

http://www.flos-freeware.ch/notepad2.html

http://www.pspad.com/en/download.php

http://www.google.com/search?q=php+editor If someone is too stupid to Google for himself, he shouldn't be learning PHP.

 

 

Downloading a PHP editor which colorizes your code is NOT required, but it is

very helpful. All operating systems come with pre-built text editors, Comma splice again. they don’t colorize

your code, but they do work.

 

Windows

 

•

Notepad – Requires an extra step to save the file It does?  Since when?  Ever heard of putting quotes around the file name so it doesn't tack on

 

the .php?  Guess that could be an extra 'step' lol.

•

Wordpad

Linux

 

•

Gedit

•

VIM

•

Kate

•

(Hundreds More)

Mac OS

 

•

Simple Text

One last thing that you can download, if you haven’t already, is a web browser, If

you are using Internet Explorer, than all I have to say is “tisk tisk”, just kidding, Internet

Explorer is fine, I will be using Mozilla FireFox to display my PHP, you can use Internet

Explorer, they will work the exact same. I just prefer FireFox over Internet Explorer, and

if you would like to give FireFox a try, than then just download it at this URL:

http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/ Grammar shotty throughout the previous paragraph

 

Once everything has been downloaded, and installed onto your computer, now is

the time to check if everything has been installed properly, we just need to check that our

services are running. Grammar bad in previous sentence You will want to open up the xampp control panel, and make sure

the first two services have been started by pressing “Start” the other two bottom services

are optional, and we I would say I here since the reader can get into them if he/she wants will not be getting into them.

 

Grammar again Open up our What happened to second person?  First person inclusive now? web browser, and type in

the following into the address bar in+into=weird: http://localhost. You should see the xampp main page,

if so your installation has be successful. Grammar in previous sentence If your page is not readable, then you may want

to check the xampp F.A.Q. page located here: http://www.apachefriends.org/en/faqxampp.

html As an installtion tutorial, this has been useless up to this point.  You forward them to the FAQ if they have issues?  Wow.  Why not just

 

read xampp's docs to begin with?

 

Where did those files come from?

 

The files that you see in your browser come from your htdocs folder located:

{Install_Locaionlocation}/xampp/htdocs

You can also find that folder by clicking:

“Start” – “All Programs” – “Apache Friends” – “XAMPP httpdocs folder”

 

What I like to do after the installation of xampp, comma weird here is delete everything within that

folder, or just make a new folder with a random name and place everything inside htdocs

 

 

folder there. Now you have an empty directory (or nearly empty directory) in which you can

now start placing your new files:

 

•

PHP

•

HTML/HTM

•

CSS

•

Graphics

o GIF

o JPG

o PNG

•

Audio

•

Video

•

EXE

•

Or any other file you would like to share (legal sharing please) Why do legalities matter to you?  You're not my momma.

For this first chapter, I don’t want to leave you with out with out should be without have learning You're mixing tenses here. 

 

I would write "without having learned" at least

some PHP, so I will give you your very first lesson in PHP, comma splice.  Also, I don't like the "very first lesson in PHP" tone/wording

 

it is very easy and has a great

amount of output. as output++, quality++? No, it is not something that says “Hello World”, because we all know

that, that is cheesy. What this output will do is show you what your version of PHP is

capable of doing.

 

Assignment Assignment?  Are you a teacher?

 

Copy the following code into your text editor:

 

<?php phpinfo(); ?>

 

 

Save the file as “info.php” to the following location:

{Install_Locaion}/xampp/htdocs

It should look something like this:

{Install_Locaion}/xampp/htdocs/info.php

 

 

Note: If you were willing to give notepad a try, you will save like everyone else, but

when the save dialog box shows up, you will need to make one extra step, where you see

the drop down box that says: “Save as type:” you will need to choose “All Files (*.*)”.

You then can save like everyone else. The down side to this is that you more than likely

will have to do this over and over again. You will have issues if you do not change this

option.

 

 

Next open your web browser, and type this address into the address bar:

http://localhost/info.php.

 

 

1. Find the version of PHP that your web server is running.

2. What is the SERVER_PORT of your server?

3. Skim through this file,Comma out of place here to see what your server is capable of.

 

 

 

Also, besides technical errors and stuff....  No offense intended, but your chapter 1 PHP code section is entirely useless.  If I tell you the exact steps how to make a certain kind of cookies, does it make you better at cooking?  In fact, that may have been a bad example.  If I give you a cookie sheet with cookies on it and have you put it in the oven, does it help you any?

[The Little Guy]

No offense intended, but your chapter 1 PHP code section is entirely useless.  If I tell you the exact steps how to make a certain kind of cookies, does it make you better at cooking?  In fact, that may have been a bad example.  If I give you a cookie sheet with cookies on it and have you put it in the oven, does it help you any?

 

I hope your talking about the part under the "Assignment", and not the whole chapter, because this chapter is VERY IMPORTANT, because I am sure a noob would open the file up using:

"C:\Program Files\xampp\htdocs\fileName.php"

[corbin]

Yeah I meant under the assignment part.  Also, I think it's pointless to have a phpinfo() line.  What does that teach the reader?  Nothing.  If you tell me to type some long equation into a calculator to solve a problem do I know what I'm doing or why it works?  No, I just did exactly what you told me to do.  Until you plan on explaining what's actually going on and what the purpose of it is, just exclude scripts.  Besides, it was an installation chapter, so why did you include a script?  Just for kicks and giggles?

[GingerRobot]

If I give you a cookie sheet with cookies on it and have you put it in the oven, does it help you any?

 

 

Yes. It means i'm not hungry anymore.