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A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids.

 

 

Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink.

 

I want a man who's kind and understanding.

Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

 

 

Do you know why they call it 'PMS'?

Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.

 

 

 

Always drink upstream from the herd.

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don't piss in the wind.

 

3 guys walk into a bar.  A mexican, a jew and a nigger.  The bartender looks up and says.. "Get the hell out of my bar."

 

Two muffins are sittin in an oven.  One says to the other "Whoa, it's hot in here" the other muffin then says "Holy shit, a talking muffin"

 

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Why did George Bush cross the road? To get to the chicken.

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